Throughout my career, I’ve been lucky to serve as both a mentor and mentee. I can’t advocate enough for the value of both of these relationships — not only does mentorship increase employee satisfaction and engagement — but this type of relationship helps you grow as a person.  

I enrolled in SUNY Upstate’s formal mentor program in 2021. It was structured similarly to a college course, where I was given a chance to define my learning goals and objectives. Throughout the year, my mentor guided me to look at new ways to view common situations, but also to rely on my beliefs to continue to be the best leader I could be.  

Upon finishing my year with my mentor, I wanted to pay it forward to the next generation. I signed up to be a mentor.  I assumed I’d use a similar format that my mentor used with me — asking challenging questions and thought-provoking questions. I hoped my mentee would see me as someone invested in their professional growth and development, just like my mentor was for me.  

It didn’t turn out quite like I expected. Unlike the pairing for my mentor, we weren’t from similar generations. I found myself struggling to understand the perspective she had on her career goals and her expectations from the team she worked with. 

But just because it wasn’t the same experience as I had — I like to think we both grew and got a lot out of our discussions. Now that I reached the end of the year of my formal mentorship with my mentee, I wanted to share the biggest takeaways I learned: 

Authenticity matters 

I’m not a fan of the over-generalized breakdown of working with different generations, but I found some validity to the differences. I’m Generation X; my mentee was Generation Z. What challenged me most about our relationship was how much value my mentee put on “authenticity.” 

In our first meeting, my mentee explained her struggle with being unable to be herself with her department. She felt she was judged negatively because she is empathetic and found herself emotionally drained at the end of the day because of working to conceal how she felt. 

While I stand true to my values and beliefs, I never put much thought into bringing my authentic self anywhere. After our first meeting, I reflected on how my actions could affect my team. Through this reflection, I focused on allowing each team member to bring their true selves to work. She was right —we’re a sum of all our parts and attempting to compartmentalize the pieces is draining.   

Share emotions

My discussions with my mentee centered around how events made her feel. I have always been taught that feelings do not belong in business. But I learned there is room for emotion in many aspects of my leadership. 

While there is no escape from business decisions and the bottom line, there is plenty of room for consideration of others and how they feel when they are with their team. I realized we can’t be empathetic to our customers if we are not empathic to each other. 

Appreciate the true value of teamwork

I don’t like the phrase “work family” because I don’t think work and family should be combined. However, my mentee showed me how her interactions with her colleagues affected her job satisfaction, including the decision to transfer to a different department. Reflecting on her decision, I came to a realization: Work may not be your family, but there are many similar dynamics. 

I have become more mindful of the interactions I have with my team. I watch for those who are helping to build up our team and congratulate their behavior. Every team member has the right to be in a nurturing environment that encourages growth and satisfaction.  

I’ve already signed up to be a mentor next year. I’m excited to see what I’ll learn from my next mentee.